Thoughtful Thursday: Great Expectations

Thoughtful Thursday is where I will write a bit about what's on my mind, serious or silly.  Hopefully this week's post will make you think a bit.

Another year older.  Another year to reflect about how my 32nd year of life turned out as I start number 33.  I've been pretty pensive the past few days because a forum on the web that I frequent had someone post a thought provoking question, "What would your 14-year-old self think of who and what you have become?"

If I'm honest, I think my 14-year-old self would assume that I would be married by now and have a family (which I do), but there is no way I would imagine that I would be a SAHM or homeschool my children.

At 14 I wanted to be a lawyer, still do.  Maybe one day when the kids are grown I will be.  However, I would not want to base how my life turned out on what a 14 year-old thought even if that 14 year-old was me. The expectations that I had for myself seem so insignificant compared to what I actually do now.  Practice law, save the innocent, condemn the guilty are noble aspirations I suppose. 

Knowing that I am the person who takes care of my children day in and day out, seeing to their needs as only a mom can, teaching them about God and His Word, making my children and their upbringing my "job" .  These are much more lofty goals then practicing law or even being a teacher, which is what I wound up getting as my degree.

In Matthew 16:26, Jesus asks this question, "For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?" 

I would ask my 14 year-old self this question in a different form, "What benefit will your life be, Chelli, if you achieve all that you want to in this world, but your children are not Christians? Or what are the souls of your children worth?"

If my children are not Christians, I will be hurt.  And the souls of my children are worth living in a small home by today's standards, owning cars with over 100,000 miles on them, not being able to take a family vacation to DisneyWorld every year, or being able to afford getting a mani/pedi every three weeks.  We could have all these things if our family had made different choices.

I know that just because I stay at home with my kids instead of working outside the home doesn't automatically mean that they will become Christians or won't become Christians.  What it does mean is that when I lay down at night, I have peace in my soul that I am doing the very best I can by sacrificing my expectations and my dreams for a season to focus on them.

In a culture that says if something doesn't make you happy, then you shouldn't do it, I just want to be a voice out there that says, "Yeah, you should, if it's the right thing for you to do."  Does that mean I'm not happy in my current profession?  No, I'm immensely happy (most days), but I do have joy in being with my children and a peace that I know who they're with and what they're doing.

Our family's choice isn't the only choice or necessarily the right choice, but I want you to understand that there is choice.  Pray about it, talk to your spouse about what your goals as a family are, and then write down what things in your life are helping you achieve those goals and what things are not.  Work on getting rid of the things that are not and replacing them with things that will. 

Your expectations should be great. God's expectations of how you deal with the precious souls He's entrusted to your care have eternal significance.

And by the way, that law degree that I want to get one day.  There is so much pleading and petitioning in my house on a daily basis by my children that I should be a Supreme Court Justice by now!

Greatly enjoying my 33 year-old expectations in the treehouse,



  1. I daresay our 14-year-old selves didn't have a clue about real life. There's a lot to be said for maturity and life's adjustments to our priorities and perceptions. I, too, am loving my life as a SAH-hsing-M and that college diploma is just fine gathering dust in the closet. I've learned *SO* much in my 15 years of parenting and 10 years of hsing--and the Lord is daily teaching and stretching me even more.

  2. @ShonyaI've decided that homeschooling and staying at home is more of an education for me than my kids! Blessings to you on your journey.